Regaining My Sanity
by hath57
Summary: AU. Spoilers. When Dean breaks Castiel out of the psychiatric ward, Castiel struggles to convince himself Lucifer isn't with him and thus become sane once again. Destiel.
1. Chapter 1

**This will run alongside my version of 7x17. Warning – will include graphic torture and later Destiel, and obvious spoilers for The Born-Again Identity.**

"If I never get to say this to you again, I am so sorry." And with that, Castiel touched Sam's forehead, and red veins sparkled over his skin, leading their way through his arms, up his neck towards his nose, where finally, they vanished, and Castiel stared in horror as he saw Lucifer greet him, lying where Sam was. Castiel screamed and ran backwards, sobbing, Lucifer laughing in his face.

**-SPN-**

_One Month Later_

"It has been one month, Emanuel." The nurse said exasperatedly but soothingly to Castiel. "You've got to accept that these… images, are figments of your imagination."

"Do you believe her, Cas?" Lucifer asked from behind her, throwing a tennis ball at the wall and catching it, before repeating the process.

"Uh… I'll try." Cas said, still staring at Lucifer.

"You're seeing images now aren't you." The nurse said, reaching out to touch Castiel's hand. "Please, Emanuel. You're safe here. Nothing can harm you." Castiel gasped as the nurse's eyes vanished, and her face contorted until she was a skeleton, bones clapping as she called 'Emanuel's' name.

"Elmanuel!" The nurse shouted, before Castiel finally saw the truth- she was fine. "I'll be back soon. Don't worry, if anything tries to hurt you, there will be people to come in and help you."

**-SPN-**

_Three and a half months later_

"Cas." Dean smiled sadly as he entered the room. "How you feeling?"

"Horrible." Castiel moaned. "How are you? How's… Sam?"

"Fine, thanks to you." Dean smiled, before it vanished and he frowned. "Why do you have syringes in your arm?"

Castiel subconsciously stroked one. "They say they can help me to expel Lucifer from my system. These will help me, once they put in the dose."

Dean walked forward, and stared at the names of the chemicals, before gasping and tearing the syringes out.

"Dean? What is it?" Castiel gasped, rubbing his arm.

"These chemicals… they're for putting you in a coma."

"Meaning?"

"Comatose injections never end well."

"They'll just put them back in…" Cas said, eyes wide in fear.

"We've got to get you out of here." Dean roared, grabbing Cas' hand and pulling him up, before swinging open the door and piling out with him in tow.

"No, Dean. I'm dangerous." Castiel protested as Dean ran along the corridor with him.

"I know. I don't care anymore. We can help you… Can't I Cas?" Castiel yelped as Dean's image was replaced by Lucifer, smiling back at him as he continued to run, and Cas gasped as he saw they were heading for a room full of fire. When Cas blinked, everything returned to normal, and Castiel continued to run with Dean, moaning softly.

"Sir, you have to put him back!" One of the in-tow nurses shouted from behind them as they piled into Dean's truck.

"Yeah? Pull me." Dean spat, and with that, the car drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for your wonderful reviews!**

**So… I am an idiot. I completely forgot Angels don't sleep. Even though it was mentioned in the same episode. *facepalm***

**Anyways, onto chapter two.**

**While I'm here, can you do me a BIG favour and watch my new youtube video of Castiel to 'Losing Your Memory'?**

**http:/ youtube .com /watch?v=2omYBiortgM&list=UUyQ9mIk13VRojYRlFWGJW4A&index=1&feature=plcp**

**Without the spaces. I'd really appreciate it. :D**

**Anyways.**

"Dean?" Castiel asked, removing himself from his peering-out-of-window position.

Dean smiled warily to him, before patting his own forehead and returning to driving.

"You're tired." Castiel noted.

"Yeah." Dean smiled at Castiel's habit to state the obvious. Although this used to drive him mad, he'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed the angel's habits.

"What are we going to do about the Leviathans? I assume you already know about it, but I released them into a water supply…"

"Taken care of. Yeah, Dick Roman and his band of nutcases have gone." Dean smirked, returning to the wheel.

"How?"

"It's a long story."

"We have a long time."

"It was Bobby. He had died, but he told us he had chosen to become a ghost, to watch over us. He… told us how to deal with Dick and the Leviathans. They were building this… this war machine at some co-ordinates Bobby had given us before he died. We managed to… to transport them all with the help of Crowley. They're in some back end of beyond now."

"I'm sorry about Bobby."

"It's fine. Hey, we still get to see him sometimes." Dean laughed shakily, a tear solidifying on his cheek.

"But it's not fine, is it. Because you know I caused all of this. If I hadn't been so stupid…"

"Cas, I think I forgave you when I thought you were dead." Dean laughed weakly.

"But I did this… I killed Bobby, I nearly killed Sam, I drove you to the end of your tether! All because I was selfish and power mad."

"Hey! Don't say that. Besides, it was either you or Raphael and Crowley. One or the other."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute, before Castiel broke it.

"Meg watched over me from time to time. She was working there."

"I know. I should've sliced her face in two before I left that hospital."

Castiel began shaking while looking out of the window, and Dean knew what it was.

"Cas, it's okay!" Dean said, shaking Cas while continuing to drive. Cas yelped and kicked at him in an attempt to get him away, and Dean yelled as one of Cas' feet pushed into his side, knocking him to the door. "Cas, it's Dean!" Dean yelled, and Cas snapped back to reality, before gasping as he noticed where the car was heading, and that Dean had let go of the wheel when Cas kicked him.

"Dean!" Cas yelled as the car head straight towards a building.

It was too late to stop the car.

They were trapped.


End file.
